Where does the time go?

Believe it or not, time flies when you are having fun.  I've had "fun" my whole life, or so I thought.  I guess the real fun and time flying begins when you have children.  Sometimes I wonder what I do with all my time and where it goes and how to get more of it. I wonder if the big world of people I used to see all the time wonder if I'm just sitting at home ignoring them.  I'm not.  I'm selfishly hoarding every single precious second with my daughter.  Rightfully so.  She is mine.  She came from me.  She is growing oh so fast and there is not a meal, movie, mall, meeting or anything else out there that is better than spending time with her.  Sure, we have went on a few date nights since she has been here (a handful).  I absolutely hate if I don't get to put her to bed every night, so I never want to miss it. She does go to bed rather early, so there are opportunities to go somewhere after 7, if I happen to have everything else done.  Yeah, right.  You see, I work full time and she sleeps 13 hours every night, so I have to finagle as much time around her sleep and my work schedule to maximize my time with the CUTEST HAPPIEST BABY ON EARTH.  I mean, have you seen her? Who wouldn't want to be with her?

I have always been very time conscious.  Like I hate, no loathe, wasted  time. Biggest pet peeve ever. Traffic, grocery lines, the bank, stupid people.  Just don't take my time away from me because that is something I can't get back.  I can't buy it back.  It's priceless to me.  I've always managed my time efficiently my entire life.  Time is certainly a gift, even more so when it means time to spend with my Wylie bear.  Don't waste my time that I could/should be spending with my daughter. 

My day starts around 5:30am when I go to bootcamp, 6:30am other days.  I get up to get myself ready, the dogs fed, myself fed and then await her to get up at 7:30am to feed and change her.  I play with her until around 8:30am when I am off to work.  She usually takes a 1.5-2 hour nap while I'm gone so I only miss about 4-5 hours with her if I can make it home by 3pm or so.  My hours vary every day but it's nice to have flexibility.  I get home, play with her and sometimes she will take another hour nap.  Around 5pm, she has her last bottle and I attempt to prepare dinner for everyone (thank the Lord for crockpots).  She eats with us and around 5:30pm, she takes her nightly bath that she loves! I have never seen a baby that would rather stand in the tub than sit.  Maybe she should take showers instead?  After bath time, Caleb and I accompany her to her room for "wind down diaper time."  This is the nightly Wylie show that I NEVER EVER want to miss.  She gets on this hyper high and just plays like crazy, covering every square foot of her room, activating every toy that makes noise, climbs the walls, mirror, and her anywhere chair making the sweetest squeals and tongue rolls.  She eventually starts to tire out around 6:20pm when she begins to get really clumsy.  We catch her, put on her pajamas, and then read her favorite books: Rain Drop Plop, Moo Baa La La La, Mr. Brown can Moo, Pajama Time, Snuggle Puppy, just to name a few.  Then I turn out the light and turn on her white noise and projector.  She cuddles her giraffe while I rock her and sing church hymns like I'll Fly Away, The Fount of Every Blessing, Heavenly Sunlight and How can I keep from singing your praise.  Sometimes she pops the paci out, flails it about and sings along with me.  We continue to rock either until she gets heavy eyelids and sighs or gets so squirmy that I can no longer hold her, then I put her in her crib by 7pm.  The rest of the evening I dedicate to cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, doing my day's paperwork, working on my schedule, hanging out with Caleb, etc.

I often think that people must wonder (or maybe not even care) what I'm doing with my time.  Why they never see me.  Why I don't venture out to even grab dinner at 6pm anymore.  Well there is why.  I rearrange my day to capture every single moment I can with her, because one day she won't be 8 months old anymore.  One day she will be on the phone in her room with her friends instead. One day she will be out with friends.  One day she will be on date.  One day she will move out.  One day will be here before I know it as fast as time is going by.  Don't get me wrong, I will eventually be able "get out more" once she doesn't go to bed so early and take 2 naps a day. Her sleep really takes away my time with her, but a baby that sleeps well is way more important.  But right now, time with this little love is just so few and far between.  I try to put off everything when she is awake.  When it's time for her wake/play time, you won't find me sitting on the couch on the computer.  You will find me in the floor right next to her.  She is what I do now.  She is my hobby.  She is my book.  She is my television show.  She is my movie.  She is my entertainment.  Sure I take care of me.  I have from 7pm-7:30am to have time for other things.  I go to the gym.  I take her for walks or do home workouts with her on days I don't go to bootcamp. I meal plan and make grocery lists when I think of it.  Oh, and I sleep 8 hours in there somewhere also. (Thank you babywise)

All in all, those who have babies understand, especially those who have done Babywise. Those who don't, just don't.  And if you need me, I will be right here.  In the floor playing with my baby girl before I blink and my baby girl is all grown up.  Do I mind? Nope.  She is the easiest best baby and being a mom is no where near the burden that some make it out to be.  Sure she scratches me, pulls my hair and spits up on me sometimes, but I wear it proudly.  It means I am a mom.  It means I am HER mom which is my greatest accomplishment to date.  Now, excuse me while I go tackle the things I put off today so I could spend time with my baby girl. Thank you Lord for every second you provide me to be with her.  Every good and perfect gift is from you!

The decade of change

As I embark on my last week in my 20's, I can't help but reflect back on what a dynamic decade it was.  When I turned 20, I was in my sophomore year of college at UTC, living on Thrasher Pike & had just gotten out of a relationship which left me feeling completely lost and lonely in my new life out of high school in a new place. I soon made some friends at UTC through some classes and reconnected with some high school friends who had made their way to the big city as well.  I was accepted into PT school the fall of my junior year and finally my life plan was starting.  All my hard work, volunteering and studying had paid off.  I made my way through hell, I mean PT school, finding sweet friends along the way and several frogs, as the saying goes you have to "kiss a few frogs to find your prince,"  I graduated, found a job and then adulthood.  Still something in my life was missing.  After experiencing the true "college" experience for 5 years, putting myself first, I began to realize God was not where He should be in my life.  The many distractions of life like studying, friends, boys, money, clothes, and nights out can really push Him into last place.  I knew I needed to put Him first and trust Him more with my life.  At age 25, that's what I finally did, little by little.  It wasn't all at once by any means.  He knew I was a work in progress.

At a friend's wedding in April 2010, this handsome preacher's kid that I was thought I was to "wild" for, got my attention.  I had known him since about 6th grade, when I met him at Bible Camp.  He had been trying to date me for years, yet I just thought I was not good enough for him and that we were to different.  But I decided to ask him to the movies just by chance.  My bestest friend who knows me better than myself sometimes, Jenny, put the idea in my head. (I owe you big).  What I thought would be an awkward silence date that evening, was the best first date ever.  Maybe we weren't so different.  The dates continued and my confidence in God's plan for me with the right man, a man of my same faith, also grew.  By searching for God, I found Mr. Right.  How cliche, right? Just amazing. Even despite the 5 months of long distance during football season we endured, we made it through.

On December 22nd, 2010-- Caleb popped the question and that following summer at age 26, we were married.  At that point, life could not have gotten any better.  We were soon able to buy our first home that winter and get our sweet Manning the next spring.  Again, life was grand.  Then along came Dolly.  Life was more grand.  Having a baby was originally our "5 year plan" because I was not trusting enough in God that we could afford or have the support we needed to care for a baby before then. No one is perfect all the time and I admit, I should have never doubted it at all.  I eventually let my guard down and just put it in His hands.  If we were supposed to have a baby before being married 5 years, then God would time it to be so.  Well, He did. On May 3rd, 2014 our lives got unbelievably better with our sweet Wylie Jewell.  The first month of her life was not easy, but without faith in Him and how He had already guided my life and took care of me, I would have never made it. I had been so worried about finding a nanny for her since we live 45+ minutes from all family.  No worries, He sent me 2 sweet angels that care for my girl every week so she can nap in her own crib and not be around germs. I thank Him every cold morning when I leave that I don't have to get her out in the weather. I took another leap of faith in changing jobs when Wylie was 4 months old so I would have more time and flexibility with her before she got all grown up.  I had never been more scared in my life, but He held my hand and got me through it.  Now, I am blessed with the greatest gift of more time with my Wylie.  Every morning and afternoon I get with her just fills my heart with joy and restores my walk.  Restores the fact that I will never ever stray from the Almighty and His awesome plan for my life ever again.  Being His servant here on this earth by caring for those in need and my daughter is the greatest job I could ever ask for.

I enter my 30's with great hopes for even more blessings in His plan for our lives and without a shadow of a doubt know that He will always provide a way.  His way is always better than mine.  You can see that by just bisecting my 20's in half.  The first half without Him I was "okay" but it was all my way, not His.  The second half was His way that I finally allowed and it was simply amazing.  You can ask anyone what a big stress ball I used to be, even in high school.  While I still have OCD tendencies and a timely ordered plan, it's a lot easier for me these days to just let it roll and put my faith in something higher than me.  Higher than this world.  Higher than evil.  Higher than our government.  Higher than disease.  Higher than finances.  Higher than daily struggles and frustrations.  My heart is content.  His ways are just.  The song by Carrie Underwood speaks volumes, "Jesus take the wheel."  I couldn't have done all this on my own.  At least not as gracefully. 

While I am in disbelief that I will soon be 30, I can happily leave my 20's behind and be grateful for each and every experience, example, shortcoming, person and blessing.  God may have every year of my 30's.  I can't wait to see what He will do with this decade. 

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Amen. 

Variety is the Spice of Life, right?

 It's evident there is no "right way" to raise a child.  Look around and it's so evident.  But we all should just try and respect the ways we suggest to others who may be struggling.  Because you never know, it just may work!

Some things I've learned (and still working on) from motherhood to is be open minded, listen to any and all advice (heeding with caution and making the final decision with Caleb), try new things, go with the flow, pray a lot, and just do what keeps my baby happy, safe and healthy, which thankfully isn't hard to do! I followed Babywise, "eat-wake-sleep pattern" from 4 weeks on and Wylie was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. I have several friends whose babies did the same thing with this method. I highly recommend this method to every mom! No, it's not starvation or crying it out. It's letting a pattern fall in place so you always know mostly what your baby is needing at that time. It helps reduce the dependence on sleep crutches such as feeding to sleep, co sleeping, cat naps, over feeding, wasting milk because they weren't really hungry, etc. Now at 5 months she sleeps 12 hours. Occasionally I hear her at 3am but she just fusses a little then starts cooing and falls back asleep on her own without me even entering her room. Most ppl don't want an independent baby. Well I'm a very independent woman (only child syndrome) and I want my girl to grow up to be one too (not necessarily an only child).  :-) Someone will not always be right there to solve the world's problems for u, no matter how large or small. So reliance and confidence in yourself and God is a invaluable quality to have. You can never instill this message to early even if she is still an infant. I know babies are all different so I sure hope the next baby is this easy because she sure has me spoiled rotten!

I may not do everything right. Nor do I follow all the norms or traditions. I am not overly conservative or liberal either. I use hippie oils before medicine on my baby. I plan to let her start feeding herself at 6 months. I have a baby that can put herself to sleep and back to sleep in her own bed (or tent currently at nap time -see an open mind), which helps lead to a well rested, non-stressed mama and daddy! A baby that loves to eat homemade baby food from local farmers. A baby that smiles ALL THE TIME since her birthday! While I may not do things your way, I certainly have a smart, developing, super happy, and very healthy baby to show for it. So I must not be screwing up to bad. God made us all different because if we were all the same, that would be too easy. To each their own! Amen!

Before I was a mom

Although the TimeHop app will tell me tomorrow, I already know exactly what I was doing this time last year on a rainy Saturday night.  Caleb went to the jamboree to watch other local teams and I stayed home since it was raining.  I ordered a pizza and watched a "rom-com" as Caleb refers to romantic comedies.  Manning was especially cuddly that night.  He kept his head in my lap the entire time.  Even when the pizza guy rang the door bell.  Little did I know, 4 days later I would take a pregnancy test and it would be positive.  My guess is Manning already knew.

I took this picture that night just thinking I smelled like bacon or something:

I saw another blog today that I guess inspired this post.  I haven't had much time to put my thoughts into words lately obviously because I've learned as Wylie gets older, she is needing more attention.  She gets bored with one activity then needs another.  She cannot stand to be still very long.  She likes to sit or stand up.  She is over being horizontal. She also doesn't sleep during the day as much as she used to.  Each new stage is more fun and I love learning along with her.  I often wondered what moms do at home all the time.  A weekend at home for me used to be so nice, relaxing and productive.  Now a weekend at home not going anywhere is just a normal thing yet nothing gets done.  I look back to what I was doing one year ago- watching a movie, ordering pizza and relaxing with my pups on a rainy August night.  Not knowing how my life was about to change.  How I was about to change.  For the better.

Before I was a mom, I slept 8-9 hours a night without interruption or a trip to the bathroom.
Before I was a mom, I cared what other people thought about everything from my clothes to my hair to my house.
Before I was a mom, I kept my house clutter free and burp cloths were not on every table.
Before I was a mom, I didn't sing kids songs in the car at the top of my lungs to prevent crying.
Before I was a mom, I didn't have spit stains on my shoulder.  Or milk in my hair.
Before I was a mom, I was able to eat 3 full meals a day, sitting down, at a decent hour and finish it without interruption.
Before I was a mom, I took long, hot showers.
Before I was a mom, I got regular pedicures every couple months and regular date nights every weekend.
Before I was a mom, my shopping cart was full of stuff, not a baby carrier.  (At least I don't buy as much)
Before I was a mom, I didn't read the chapter on c-sections or did I have a 4" scar across my lower abdomen.
Before I was a mom, the "girls" had a higher altitude.
Before I was a mom, I ran on my schedule and my schedule alone.
Before I was a mom, I organized my closet for fun.
Before I was a mom, I didn't know if I had what it took to be a mom.
Before I was a mom, I was scared to death of becoming a mom.
Before I was a mom, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to be a mom or we would have conception troubles.
Before I was a mom, I thought we could never "afford" to have a baby.
Before I was a mom, I thought I had a good life.
Before I was a mom, I didn't even know just how fulfilling life could be.
Before I was a mom, I wasn't half as strong of a woman that I am now.
Before I was a mom, it was all about me.

As everyone says, being a mom is the most rewarding and most challenging job there is and this is correct. It's also a job that can teach you a lot about yourself, your faith, your husband and your priorities.  Although she be little, Wylie has changed me and influenced my thoughts, actions, motives and outlook more than I ever could have imagined.  This little girl will never know just how much she means to me and what she has taught me about myself, my life, and my faith in God.  Every day is new and exciting and she truly makes getting up and coming home worth every ounce of effort. 

To the stay at home mom

I will preface this post by saying I am not "knocking" the job of a stay at home mom.  I know it's hard work. I know you have a lot to do and being with kids all day can sometimes drive you crazy and you long to converse with adults and be normal.  I know some of you have sacrificed a lot maybe financially to be able to stay at home and it's not easy money wise.  Again, I am not dissing you or your job as a stay at home mom.  I am simply expressing that the next time you feel frustrated that your child won't nap, pitches a fit, makes a mess or gets on your last nerve, think of the working mother who would give her left arm to be able to experience all of these moments.  Because not only does she miss the bad times, she misses the good ones as well.  Not only does she have to spend time with her child just at night and on the weekends, but she also has to fit in the laundry, the grocery shopping, the cleaning, the cooking, the husband, her friends, errands, etc, etc, etc in that limited amount of time as well.  As I spend my last week at home, I have so many fears, doubts, anxiety, tears and uncertainty.  All I can do is give it to God, but it's not very easy to do.  While I have found 2 wonderful ladies to take care of my sweet baby girl, I resent the fact that I have to pay someone to do what I would gladly do in a heartbeat, all day everyday, myself.  I am blessed to have gotten to spend 12 weeks with my little girl as I know others don't get to take off that long of time after having a baby.  As I try to focus on the positive, the negative just keeps creeping in with every minute that passes me by.  I am about to embark on the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Working full time as a physical therapist & running my clinic, being a wife, being a mother, being a maid, being a cook, taking care of the dogs, studying for my McKenzie certification exam in November, staying in shape by attending two 6am boot camp classes per week and then walking at least with Wylie the other days, and keeping up my Christian walk with Bible study and small group.  All at the beginning of football season, our busiest time of the year until December.  And both sets of grandparents are 45+ minutes away. Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.  Deep breaths. 

Isaiah 41:10  fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 1 Chronicles 16:11  Seek the LORD and his strength;  seek his presence continually!

Exodus 15:2 The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

To the Stay at Home Mom:

To those lucky few,
I truly envy you.
You say it's hard
and I know this is true.

But what is more so,
is when you have to go.
When you are not where you want to be,
which is with your baby.

You aren't missing them
because you are there.
You aren't wondering and worrying
For they are in your care.

You don't have the guilt
You've got more time.
The balancing act of work and being a mommy
Just doesn't seem to align.

So next time your frustrated while being at home,
Think about me and just change your tone.

For I would love to be there for it all.
For every mess, every diaper, every tantrum and fall.

For every kiss, every cuddle, every breath, every sigh.
Every game, every milestone, every laugh, every cry.

I wish I could have extra time in my day.
How will I be a working mom and wife?
All I can do is pray. 

The learning curve of being a mom

10 weeks is a good amount of time.  I've enjoyed every minute (mostly) & learned a ton.  I'm very sad over only having 2 weeks left at home with her but I know it's all God's will and timing and He will provide our way and make it all work for us.  Luckily, I work close to home so I'm thankful for that!  I have complied a list of the things I've learned thus far and just updating from my last blog where I must have looked like a doomed mother.  Wylie has been super healthy ever since getting over her infection and things have gotten so much easier.  It's not always easy, but it's much better! God truly was giving me the strength and skills He knew I would need to care for this little firecracker.  He gave me the strength to let the little things go and not worry over every little thing like some moms can tend to do.  My heart and emotions have gained strength and I'm a tougher, better mother for it.

1.  Play mats are the best.  I know the music from it by heart.
2.  Wylie hates her swing.  She would rather be active/moving. Glad I just borrowed one to see instead of buying!
3.  Swaddle blankets are da bomb.  The instant calm and smile when she knows she is about to be swaddled is like magic!
4.  The book "Moo, baa, la la la."  I can quote it word for word. I need Rain Drop Plop and the Llama series too! I had those memorized from babysitting days in grad school.
5.  White noise is essential. We like rain.
6.  Lavender essential oil is essential.
7.  So is DiGize.
8.  So is an amazing, helpful, loving husband. I feel so sorry for single mothers.  Caleb has been my rock.
9.  So is an amazing mom to help you and encourage you and that knows exactly how you like everything done from the dogs, the laundry, the cleaning, the feeding, the diaper changing.  I'm so lucky she is willing to come help us so much.  And a thrifty mother in law that can find amazing deals on toys, clothes, etc makes life easier too.  Wylie is abundantly blessed and well dressed!
10.  Sleep is overrated. But we are finally getting about 8 hours straight a night!
11.  I will never get it all done.  Yes, I learned that.  I will need a constant reminder daily.
12.  I will never have time to blog again once I return to work.  Or cook probably.  Or shop.  Or clean.
13.  I will have a happy baby to love on and that's what is most important.
14.  I can never take enough pictures of her. Sorry to my FB and instagram followers. 
15.  I need a 32 gig iPhone storage capacity.
16.  Never ever get dressed until the last minute before leaving, or be draped completely in a towel and burp cloth if you are.
17.  Naps are important.  For the baby too.
18.  Baby milestones are so fun to feed my desire to accomplish and achieve things! So proud of my girl!
19.  Baby smiles are pretty much the greatest thing ever.
20.  When babies poop, it's pretty hilarious to watch.
21.  When Caleb cover his nose with his shirt while changing a poopy diaper is also hilarious to watch.
22.  Baby cries all sound different.  There are "push out cries" (not really anything is wrong), "horror movie cries" (hurting or super mad), "cat in a garbage disposal cries" (just complaining), and the obvious "wet, feed me, I'm tired" cries. Caleb and I enjoy naming them.
23.  Eat. Poop. Wake. Sleep.  It's pretty basic.
24.  Strollers are hard to push up big hills.
25.  Baby cuddles are the sweetest.
26.  Keep burp cloths in every room.  On every table.
27.  Basements make great diaper hoarding facilities.
28.  Sophie is NOT a $23 dog toy.  Do NOT squeak around the dogs.
29.  Dolly likes to eat pacifiers. So keep them out of her reach.
30.  I never knew I would take such pride and joy in loud burps.
31.  Baby feet are like my new obsession.
32.  Baby talk is adorable.
33.  Clipping fingernails is terrifying.  
34.  Their hair just won't lay down.  Just stick a head band or bow in it and get on with your day.
35.  The Otteroo is by far my most recommended baby accessory.
36.  The vacuum cleaner is perfect white noise.
37.  The Ergo baby carrier is a life saver.  Those other carrier/wrap systems confuse the heck outta me no matter how many You Tube videos I watch.
38.  They don't need special detergent. 
39.  Car rides, stroller rides and buggy rides are instant sleep aides.
40.  Babies smell amazing.
41.  I will never use all the baby shampoo, soap and lotion I have.
42.  When they wake up and stretch, I melt into a puddle.  It's the most adorable thing ever when she opens her eyes and smiles at me. 
43.  Life will never be the same and that's perfectly fine.
44.  Date nights at home with my family are little pieces of heaven.
45.  Every kid needs a dog.  Especially a crazy German Shepherd and silly bloodhound.
46.  There is no other love like this.
47.  It was all worth it.

No one warned me- A First Time Mother's "Bliss"

No one warned me. No one told me the hard parts. No one shows the non glamorous side of motherhood and who would dare discuss it and seem like they were complaining.  No, I'm not talking about sleepless nights, spit up, pee or poop. I will take that all day long folks. No one told me how alone being a mom makes you feel. No one told me how badly you will mourn your former life and self then feel horribly selfish for it at the same time. No one told me how your heart will feel ripped out and stomped on when your baby is sick and helpless for no reason. Or how hard you will cry when they try to stick an IV in their tiny veins over and over. No one told me how you will question why you made the decision to procreate. No one told me how you will be scared to death your husband will fall out of love with you because you all of a sudden are a hormonal crazy person that cries incessantly as your newborn cries too. No one told me how much harder this job is if you are type A and OCD like me. No one told me.
 
Since May 3rd, I have faced many challenges. I know some mothers have faced worse or more, but God definitely thought I was super mom. Each week has thrown something new at me, aside from the regular adjustments to a newborn. From having a long labor ending in an unwanted c-section, to having a horribly painful breastfeeding experience, to discovering Wylie has a milk soy protein intolerance which was why breastfeeding was so hard (and she was fussy/in pain), to finding out my own incision was infected, and then to have my baby admitted for a very rare case of infant mastitis & spending 3 days/nights in the hospital - you could say it's not been a walk in the park. I am by no means trying to seek pity or whine. I am only trying to strip down the "bliss of motherhood" and show the true raw and ugly side that sometimes happens. Why does it happen? Who knows. God has been teaching me patience hard core the past few years and I thought I was doing well. He must have decided I needed another course. He also decided I needed a course in letting go, being stronger and allowing my independent stubborn self to let others help me. He decided Wylie needed a strong mother. Although I am not strong- I am made strong through Him via my own weaknesses. I will put my weaknesses, my doubts, my fears, my problems, my brokenness on display for all to see for His glorification. For without Him, I would be lost. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV) Without my amazing husband, supportive families and friends- I would have gone insane. No matter how big or small the problem, God cares. He has shown His goodness and faithfulness and brought me and many, many people to their knees to seek His help in healing my precious baby girl. In all my years of heart aches, disappointments and broken hearts from boys, pets passing away, grandparents passing etc- I have never felt as broken as I did when my baby had to be admitted to the hospital and stuck over & over to run an IV at the age of 22 days. I have never shed more tears. I have never sang more hymns to calm myself and her. I have never doubted myself and my decisions so much. So while motherhood is hard and no one told me the degree on a scale of 0-10, I'm telling whoever is reading this. (It's a 10 btw) Moms, wives, single women. Men. Listen up. It's not pretty. It's not easy. Yes, kids are cute and fun. Even though you think you're ready and capable you will doubt it every second of every day and second guess everything you've ever known. But then you look at them and they smile and all is ok again. God has blessed me with an overall healthy, beautiful baby girl that I love more than anything on this earth.  He blessed me with amazing support and love from so many people. I know nothing worth having is easy, and this totally fits this subject. I know we will face more challenges in different variations and stages. Some will be harder than the past 24 days. Some will be easier and feel like a breeze compared to now. For whatever reason, God has a point. A plan. A path. I'm going to buckle up. And put on a helmet. :-)
 
Thank you for reading. Thank you for praying. Thank you for your unending love and friendships near and far. I never knew how hard life could be. I know we all have our own battles. I hope each one of you know The Lord, for He can help. I hope some of my experiences have shown Him and His goodness to you. For that, must be part of His reasoning. I am in no way perfect, nor will I ever be. But I will strive to be the best I can to my family and to please God.

I am PRAISING and THANKING God for His comfort, His grace, His mercy, His power, His calming, His Healing of my sweet Wylie.  We still have to get through transitioning home again and giving her antibiotics 3x/day and applying heat compresses to continue to let her heal and get better.  I know He will provide all we need.  God is good.
 
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13 NIV
 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16 NIV)

Mastitis in my sweet girl.  This looks good compared to Sunday night.  The infection is trying to "draw" itself out.  Yes, it looks and is painful.  Yes, its a freakishly rare thing to happen in newborn babies.  Google it. I did not pass the infection to her at all.  Babies have milk from mother's hormones passively, and those ducts can get clogged and infected just like in nursing mom's if not expressed/secreted.