I was a dog mom first

Most of you know I'm a little dog crazy.  I probably treat my dogs better than some people treat their kids (sadly).  They are my world and my stress relief/calming agents.  They bring me joy.  They are full of love and life. I come by it honest as I was raised with dogs from an infant, knowing 8 German Shepherds in my lifetime of my parents.  I inherited it from my mom and my very first word was even dog.  I had no brothers and sisters, so I talked to and played with my dogs.  They were just as human as my regular friends, they just didn't get to go out in public as much.

 I have been very emotional this week ever since I saw the newest Budweiser commercial (see it here) with the puppy and the Clydesdale.  Most of you saw a cute puppy and a horse and said "awwww how cute."  I saw a playful puppy full of determination, perseverance, loyalty, heart ache, joy, and the desire to love and be loved by his #bestbud, the Clydesdale.  I also saw an owner who abandoned him and gave him away, which broke my heart even more.  I then had sheer joy and happy tears when he escaped from the car and was reunited with his #bestbud and welcomed back by the farmer with a smile and a hug.  I saw the human in the dog. The feelings he felt.  The things he may be thinking or saying if he could talk.  It was like a sad movie with a happy ending all in a 45 second commercial that struck me in my dog loving heart. Needless to say, the tears were uncontrollable.  (Thank you pregnancy hormones) Later that night, Caleb and I watched the top Super Bowl commercial countdown. It featured last year's commercial with the parade and the horse runs after his owner, so thanks to Budweiser, I lost it again.  For the remainder of the night I couldn't even speak to the dogs without crying.  I know that nights where it's just Caleb, me and the dogs chilling on the couch without a care will be soon be a distance memory. It's bittersweet. 

 I worry about how they will feel when Wylie gets here, as our attention will be a little shifted.  I worry if they will stop eating or be mad at us.  I worry they won't like her and they may freak out when she cries.  I worry my babies will feel they are being replaced and that we love them less.  (Here come more tears).  I worry how I will hold Wylie and have Manning in my lap at the same time. I worry how I will get them fed and hold or feed Wylie every single day, much less feed myself. I worry how I will hold a leash and push a stroller. I just worry.  But eventually all the worrying stops as God reminds me it's out of my control.  He reminds me how blessed I am.  He reminds me how His timing is perfect for the dogs to be the age they are right now.  He reminds me all will be just fine.  He reminds me of how my heart will just expand until it may feel like it will explode from all the love that will feel our home between the fur babies and new baby.  He reminds me I will be a good mother to ALL of them, as I have already gotten motherly experience from raising Manning & Dolly the past 2 years. Some people may have the opinion that it's no where near the same thing and I realize it's not exactly apples and oranges raising a baby vs. raising a dog.  Maybe they don't love their dogs quite as much as I do.  I've heard that being a mom is like having your heart walk around outside your body, and mine already does, on 4 legs.

I have complied a small list of ways the dogs have taught me to be a mother already:

1. Making messes-  I'm very OCD/type A.  Everything has it's place.  Manning and Dolly have already shown me what it's going to be like with toys thrown about everywhere, loud toys that squeak, and what it feels like to step or trip over one in the dark.  They also eat very messy and I sweep up dog food pieces 2-3x/day.  Dolly usually has slobber on one or both sides of her mouth, sometimes up around her muzzle.  They get wet and muddy too and require extra attention in order to get to come in. When it rains, they know to head straight to the utility room to get dried off and feet wiped clean before they can proceed through the rest of the house.

2.  Sacrifice- I come home on my lunch to let them out, give them attention and check on them.  I don't eat breakfast or dinner myself, until their food is served to them.  I spend $30 on dog food every 3 weeks.  I spend $110 on heart worm/flea medication every 6 months. I spend who knows what on their shots. I buy countless toys they eventually destroy. I just now got the Lowe's bill paid off from building a very nice kennel and privacy fence for their safety.  I don't travel at drop of a hat unless I have prior arrangements to take them to the Roberts dog ranch.  When it's cold outside, I sacrifice leg room to Manning in our king size bed.  I also get paws in my face often.  I keep lint rollers everywhere.  I vacuum every other day because it's worth it for their sweet company in my house.

3.  Joy- Pure sweet innocent joy.  There is not many better things in life then coming home from a hard day to see a couple of carefree dogs wagging their tails and excited to see you.  The look on their faces when they get a new toy, an empty milk jug or fresh rawhide bone makes me thrilled, especially to watch them enjoy it and appreciate it. Manning can usually smell when I buy them something when I put the shopping bags on the counter.  He puts his paws on the counter and shoves his whole head into each bag until he finds the toy I bought.  I love watching them wrestle and chase each other through the house and backyard enjoying life and their puppy hood.  I could watch them for hours.

4.  Weird smells and bodily fluids/functions-  I've house trained both of these dogs.  I have cleaned up pee, poop and vomit in most every room, their pen, and with a shovel and a bucket in our backyard.  I think changing diapers may be easier than shoveling poop, don't ya think?  But I love them, so I do it anyway.  Manning has vomited in my car and my hand.  Dog farts and dog burps may be the worst smells on the planet that come without warning.  I have been slobbered on daily.  Bodily fluids or weird smells no longer phase me.

5.  Unconditional love-  While I know having a "human" baby born from your own body trumps buying or adopting a furry dog, the role of being a mother and taking care of a helpless baby puppy is the same. You protect them.  You feed them.  You bathe them. You take them for shots.  You take them to the doctor when they are sick. You stare at them while they sleep.  You pet or stroke them. You talk to them.  You show them the world.  You watch them explore their world.  You teach them right from wrong.  You want to see them succeed and be smart.  You discipline them.  You potty train them.  You prefer their company over most anyone else. You comfort them when they are scared or hurt.  You hug them. You laugh at them.  You smile at them.  You kiss their nose or forehead. You cry with them.  You just watch them for hours. You give your heart and soul to care for them, expecting nothing in return.  But amazingly, you get the greatest gift in return from both a dog and a baby-- their unconditional love.  By nurturing and raising Manning from the time he was 5.5 weeks old, we have a bond that can never be broken. Sure he is independent now aside from dipping his own food into his bowl and getting his own water, but he still follows me everywhere.  He sits in my lap.  He wants me to play ball with him.  He wants to go on walks.  He sleeps across my lap, on top of my legs, or right next to me on the couch or in bed.  He protects me.  He sits under my feet at the bar when I eat every meal.  He just wants to be where we are. He listens to me.  He keeps me company.  He listens when no one else will.  He provides loyalty to me as only a dog, especially a German Shepherd dog can.

I know I have a lot to learn still about the different phases of babies and parenting and no my dogs don't ever "grow up" and go to school or get driver's licenses or boyfriends but they have taught me and prepared me somewhat for what is to come.  I do not fear becoming a mother for I know I have what it takes to care for and love another being more than myself.  What I fear the most is not having enough love to go around for all my "babies" and husband of course.  I pray to God daily to give me the strength to continue to be a loving wife, daughter, friend, and mother to Manning, Dolly and Wylie for there will be days I feel like I can't give anymore.  I pray that I will somehow learn to "let go" and let myself have some downtime and be selfish every now and then to recharge.  I know that no matter what, my home will always be my refuge and filled with those that love me the most.  I know that Manning and Dolly will eventually adapt to a new baby and love her as well.  I pray that Wylie will grow to love dogs as much as I do.  I saw a quote once that says you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat an animal that can do nothing for them.  While the quote makes it's point to be able to love something that doesn't reward you in any way as a good hearted person, I don't feel that the animal part can apply to dogs.  For my dogs do reward me.  They love and comfort me and teach me how to love and comfort others, unconditionally and selflessly.  I can't wait for them to teach Wylie the same thing.

I melted when Caleb came home & did this

Watching my little guy sleep

Adoration

The night Dolly came home