Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.- Hebrews 11:1
We do not see God. We may not see Him immediately intervening in our lives. We may not have full blown faith and hope in Him doing the things we pray for him to intercede with. At the time anyway. We may think He isn't listening or there. Oh but He is.
Looking back through my timeline on Facebook, it's evident of very small and big events throughout my life. It's evident God was in my life even though I did not give Him as much glory for that as He well deserves.
After high school, I wanted to go to UTC but I didn't score high enough on the ACT to get the "big" scholarship. I went anyway and my sophomore year landed an awesome scholarship that even allowed me to have a "refund" to live off of.
I wanted to get into PT school. I worked my tail off and my dream came true.
I wanted to survive PT school. I did.
I wanted to pass boards. I did.
Around the time I finished, I was desperate for a job. I was afraid I would have to move in order just to get one. I got a job right out of school in Chattanooga just in time before my savings ran out.
Around this time in my life I felt I was wandering aimlessly. I had my dream career, but not the dream "life" I was hoping for. I needed a person to journey through life with. I dated the wrong guy. I knew he was not "the one". I began to notice in my timeline on FB, that I would quote scripture to help me along the way, like I was searching for something, anything to find my path. This was not like anything I ever used to do. As I continued to float along, Caleb and I saw each other again at a wedding in April 2010 and went to the movies that evening. Next thing I know, I'm head over heels in love with the right guy.
2 months passed and Caleb had to accept a job in Oneida, TN. Needless to say, we were both devastated. We cried for a while but both agreed we saw a future in our relationship and promised to make it work somehow. I was working at the hospital, which included several weekend shifts. That was not going to make it easy on us. A month later, North River called me with a job offer (no weekends anymore) and I gladly accepted. I had not prayed directly for God to give me another job, but I had been praying for Him to find a way for us. He did.
Caleb lived in Oneida during football season, so I made the trip up there most every weekend. God kept me safe during those 2.5 hour one way trips through random towns and curvy roads. It was stressful and hard, but our time together brought us closer and closer as leaving on Sundays was the hardest thing I've ever done. By the grace of God, Caleb was offered a job at Boyd Buchanan in early December and moved back home. 2 weeks later, he proposed.
The day of our wedding it was pouring rain. You could have said I was a little upset. There were storms all around us, but nothing ever hit the wedding site enough to cause any damage. 2 hours before our ceremony was to start, it stopped raining. Around the time I was to walk down the aisle, the sun came out. Although the table cloths and seats were wet, our wedding was perfectly beautiful and we had the most amazing sunset. Now every time I see a gorgeous sunrise or sunset, it just reminds me of His goodness.
Caleb's job at Boyd has led us to new friendships that I have needed my whole life, to be around those with the same beliefs/morals as me. Boyd also led us to Clear Creek Church of Christ which is part of our family now. God is amazing for He sent people I need in my life to encourage and uplift me, not that just are convenient. He has encouraged me to no longer follow the crowd, but be myself while seeking Him, proving He will send people in my pathway, not that I have to chase or conform with.
There are times now in my life where I think we won't be able to handle our finances or schedule or the stress from work, yet day to day, week to week and month to month, it's always okay. God always takes care of us.
Now, don't get me wrong, I was praying and thanking God throughout all this time, but it wasn't until now I see how significant and intricate his plan and timing really was. When I think back to before all the above happened (circa 2003 and forward) I could have told you I hoped to go to college, be a PT, get a job and get married. But I didn't know the how or when or who. I could not see that. Now I know that God saw it the whole time.
In Hebrews chapter 1, it has a discussion of faith in things we hope for but do not yet see. I do not see God but I have faith, belief and knowledge that He exists. I do not see our future, but I have faith, hope and belief that God will provide just as He did in the past even when my faith was minimal.
As I was going through all these events, I was very happy and excited to make these accomplishments and find my husband. It's not until looking back now that my eyes were not open enough to "see" that everything going on were those "unseen" things I had hoped for. God knew my heart and what I needed at the right time. I have every faith that He will continue to do this and it's making my faith grow more and more each day.
I vowed to myself just this week that when I began to have anxiety and worry over things very beyond my control right now, to avoid obsessing over it like I have in the past and instead draw nearer to Him. I love my Bible app on my phone, but probably have 200+ verses book marked. This week, I have spent countless hours writing them in a journal and memorizing some of them. It's working much better than I had ever hoped for.
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently- Romans 8:25
So I will continue to hope for what I do not yet have, what I cannot yet see. But this time, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God sees it already and I need not worry.
I hope you can all reflect and look back on your life and see how God was there the whole time. Feed your faith and it will grow.
Happy Wednesday!
